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ICE ANGEL
XIAXUE

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...KISS AND TELL

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actual image- 1

歌曲：退后
歌手：周杰伦 专辑：依然范特西

天空灰的像哭过
离开你以后
并没有更自由
酸酸的空气
守住我们的距离
一幕醉心的结局
像呼吸般无法停息
抽屉泛黄的日记
找到了回忆
那笑容是傻气
你我的过去
被深深真的忘记
缺氧过后的爱情
存心的眼泪是多余
我知道你我都没有错
只是忘了怎么退后
信誓旦旦给的承诺
全被时间扑了空
我知道我们都没有错
只是放手比较好过
最美的爱情回忆里带去

天空灰的像哭过
离开你以后
并没有更自由
酸酸的空气
守住我们的距离
一幕醉心的结局
像呼吸般无法停息
抽屉泛黄的日记
找到了回忆
那笑容是傻气
你我的过去
被深深真的忘记
缺氧过后的爱情
存心的眼泪是多余
我知道你我都没有错
只是忘了怎么退后
信誓旦旦给的承诺
全被时间扑了空
我知道门都没有错
只是放手会比较好过
最美的爱情会一定带去

我知道我们都没有错
只是放手会比较好过
最美的爱情回忆里带去(待续)
(相信你我还会有开始
只因我们都没有错)

-our love story ;

well...cried again..but for my studies this time..ive lost too many times and fell down too many times because of bgr.Chris scolded mi.He is right..Ive wasted my time on many other things like love...But my main piority shld be studies now..hmm...i learnt..ytd have a good talk with shi bin..stil like him but hes gone...i don like aden as he is now.thus,making it more easier to forget everything..chris had slowly become one of the closest person in my life..for being dere always...even til now no matter how i treat him forgranted last time.geex...study and play and work=)

-our love story ;

I guess i really take you for granted all this while.I blame myself for giving that second chance...in this way...at least i would not be feeling so lost myself when im already able to stand up tad time le.But i know my character,i would still give the second chance as ive met too many times of rela where no second chances was given.I have to say you really changed le..am i the one that turn you into like that?what do u exactly want now?last time u will not bear to just leave.You are the first guy to cry in front of me and for me.Im stunned.I never know i would cause such despair for a guy or rather force you to become like that.Ive drove you to a wall..I hope u would not be so afraid of me for i did not mean to.For now,i know im still pining and hoping to get a second chance from you.But as time goes by..i know both of us would give up totally.After ive become stronger,I dont dare to plunge into this rela whereby im physically and emotionally hurt so much..chris is the only person who is always dere for me when ive reached my extremem state.I feel very cosy when he say he dont like the way other parents treat me.I feel that someone actually cares.I feel strong everytime with him around.

-our love story ;

So i was thinking here..shuting has nothing to be proud of..I wanna help others to make me feel appreciated...i wanna help others to be able to feel welcome in this cold world.All i want is to bring a smile to other lips

-our love story ;

Its really time to say goodbye..love still remains as a question even til now.Happiness u have truly found.Geninue smile spread across your handsome face.I have always longed to see tad radiant smile you put on for me once.But its now gone.Not for me now but an angel out there.And all i could do now is to say goodbye.A simple goodbye that i had always been scared to whisper out.Goodbye my loved one.I really love you once.I hope u do too..

-our love story ;

Sooo worried bout my studies....worried bout my injuries...good luck...

-our love story ;

Im losing myself.Whats happening to her.Shes gone.

Fanatic bout cars and motor bikes.Lamborghini!

-our love story ;

Clinging on to the past or moving on to the future?

You are a challenge.I forsee the ending i would get in future.Can u make me trust you?Shall see tomorrow.

-our love story ;

Today on 28/8/06. I found someone of my same horoscope.Same birthday.Same year.Same estate. Woo..hes none other then val.AND hes darn shuai.We decided to go zouk celebrate our birthday nxt yr.woo..so cool~anyway..today zhong zai lesson was very educational.I did learn lots of things. Esp the story bout the snake.Lol..mr edwin tot of mi when he hear the story.The saying goes:When u willing to let go,you would not have troubles.When u put down,you would not have worries.When u forget everything,you would never feel pained again.Well,the snake story is bout a snake that bites you and instead of trying to find a cure for yourself
.You turn around and chase after the snake or
bite it(jie hui said it).It also imply u are risking yourself to be bitten by the snake again.YEAH.Mr edwin! i understand it!Well.I can do it! jia you jia you jia you!i wanna be Successful Shuting!

Dancing is fun with the 8 of us.plus mi 9.I love evryone dere.They wanna go zoo on sun but i gt work ! haix! and i got to miss out the beach party on fri on sentosa..argh!

-our love story ;

-our love story ;

-our love story ;

Can u believe it our last day of sch ended on wednesday with buffet! lol...strange la..like some graduation night.So fun la..i was watching jin shan shun with my food.Everywhere round the studio u could c ppl watching video.The entire mood was pretty relax and fun.Well,i also personally make a puremilk* birthday card for xian zhong using powerpoint.First time wor..xian zhong u better appreaciate it.wahahx.

Been hanging round nowadays with Reave.A darn nice fren.I can go shopping the whole day with him.He gt discounts all over the place-topman,bossini,guess..woah..anyway hes looking for students and tutors.So anyone interested can tell mi los..Oh yah.i love to take fotos with him.so many diff poses from him.Cute,normal,cool,abnormal.Hes simply like a xiao didi.And im his da jie jie.

Guess today make dearie kathy disappointed.Though she din say anything.Yeah.im simply guilty.

Anyway.the m-industries from bugis.Service suckx!I reserve 3 shirt and they giv 1 of it to other customers.hah.and its my fav one! the thing is the whole outlet of singapore no more le.Im even more angry that guy bluff say his collegeue take out le.Yet he can rmb so clearly the details of the shirt.well..forget it..Fu tell mi to stop brooding over it..ok..I took fu to shopping and he bought one set of clothes..woo..changes his original image.

I blew my chance.Was at town when a woman ask mi to appear on some magazine model and looking for new faces.BUT she ask mi how old i was and i tell her i was 17 .She said i was too young..aww.Don think shes some con as age matters..argh.

-our love story ;

5 人鱼的眼泪
歌手：南拳妈妈
作曲：锺佐泓
填词：黄俊郎
编曲：蔡科俊Again

透过窗舷你望着剪影一夜
爱上他在天与海的交界
你忍痛　用声音交换了双腿
只为走近爱的人身边
你赌上毁灭相信真爱会永远
不懂专情不适合人类
而你连　道别都没有人听见
黎明后随浪花凋谢
你的泪　一抹无邪
不属于这个冷漠的世界
舍弃了一切　只为一个能够
付出你真爱的机会
你的泪　一抹无邪
原来感情那么难以学会
他身边是谁　消失前后不后悔
你的悲伤是否像海
一样深邃
你赌上毁灭相信真爱会永远
不懂专情不适合人类
你最美的梦像泡沫般碎裂
剩童话里忧伤一页
你的泪（你的泪）
一抹无邪（一抹无邪）
原来感情那么难以学会
他身边是谁　消失前后不后悔
人鱼最后的泪像海
一样深邃

-our love story ;

When a girl cries, it doesn't mean she's weak.
If a girl cries in front of you, it means that she can't take it anymore.

If you take her hand, she would stay with you for the rest of your life.
If you let her go, she can't go back to being herself anymore.

A girl won't cry easily, except in front of the person whom she loves the most, when she becomes weak.
A girl won't cry easily, it's only when she loves you the most, that she puts down her ego.

If a girl cries becauseof you, please hold her hands firmly, because she's the one who is willing to stay with you for the rest of your life.

If a girl cries because of you, please don't give her up, if you love her. Maybe because of your decision, you will ruin her life.

When she cries right in front of you, when she cries because of you,
Look into her eyes, can you see and feel the pain and hurt she's feeling?
Think, which other girl has cried with pure sincerity, in front of you, AND because of you?

She cries not because she is weak,
She cries not because she wants sympathy or pity,
She cries, because crying silently is no longer possible, the pain, hurt and agony have become too big a burden to be kept inside.

Think about it. If a girl cries her heart out to you, and all because of you,
It's time to look back on what you have done, only you will know the answer to it.

Do consider it, because one day, it may be too late for regrets. It may be too late to say "I'm Sorry". Don't always think you are right all the time. Think carefully, everyone has a responsible for everything that they do. She may have done wrong. Who doesn't? But who made her commit that mistake?

A girl always needs protection,
A girl always need care,
A girl always need someone beside her to comfort her when she's sad.
A girl always need support when she's down.

All these needs are to come from the guy that she loves, and not from friends who have always been beside her.

Look at all that she has done for you with your heart.
Look at how much tears she sheds for you,
Look at how the way she tries not to show her troubles and unhappiness,
Just not to affect you and spoil your day.

But have you ever understood how hard they are struggling, just to give you a smile?
Treasure that girl who really loves you,
And you really love.

Before she really leave you,
Before she really decides not to look back,
Before she really gives up.

You can't blame her, because you are the one who is driving her out of your life.


Adapted from:kathy's blog
Ps: Guys u shld read dis.

-our love story ;

Fu pei mi go polyclinic the whole dae..hahax..and promise mi a sakura treat as he won a competition.Hes A darn nice friend aka teacher=P If i get a b for my results each time,he would give mi a jolin album.How cool is that!A very motivating incentive for mi!

Things are going a bit better for me.The vichy supervisor havent tell anything to annie-the head.Annie is darn nice to mi.She wish mi good luck for my exams and keep finding events for mi to work and even praise me for my sales-I hit a thousand plus in 3 days..woo~

I was actually quite scared that i did not get to display my proj but i ask poh in msn and he say shld be fine*grins*.Still keeping my fingers crossed though.Im proud of my model=)

I met andy when i was goin home from yishun.lol..so fated la..Like 1 yr then saw him again.Somemore gt c him a week before at city-link.AND he moved to panjang le!shocking shocking!Anyway he working in night safari and the job was darn good-pay not bad too.Thus i gonna make this my 4th job=)

Hear a song today bout why 2 person cannot be together.Guess understand quite a lot.I just wanna thanks him for he teaches me a lot of thing and pretty sorry for how i react in the past.I lost my cool.Anyway,its all in the past.Im sorry ken and kelvin for my reckless behaviour.Forgive mi=))

Anyway dearie kathy come to yishun polyclinic to passmi her camera..so sweeet of her..she wore the shirt we bought together and it looks great on her..woo~Cause we r pretty tadx why..geex.

hmm...haiqal is pretty sweet.
[tupai] - i'll be killed in a car accident.mp3 says:
just wanna say hi
[tupai] - i'll be killed in a car accident.mp3 says:
cuz i wanna meet u up
[tupai] - i'll be killed in a car accident.mp3 says:
and now i gotta sleep darl

Well..he talk to mi in msn just to say nights..lol..sweet guy.


Well...2molol i aint goin tan tock seng to work..so gonna print panel myself..chanllenging eh..

-our love story ;

Meet up with kel 2dae..he attempted to repair my camera.But it still died in the end.Anyway i bought a drink for him and for myself.I open the can but he say he don wan drink and wan leave.Well..i was at a loss.I told him to pour away if he don wan.And he reali did.Well..it gets on my nerves.First he nvr treat mi like that b4 and its totally rude ok.He always say things to spite mi..I reali dunno what he wan.Stop being friends?Why cant u all treat mi as normal?friends.

Im so stressed now.2dae is supposed to be my presentation.But i could not finish my powerpoint,panal and final model so i din go in the end ans i was sick.I called to ask whther mc can cover up.In the end,i recieve the news i tio silent crit.hah.And i have onli mayself to blame.I did not bother to do my hw that time our stuff happens..First time to lose so much control over a guy-even my studies!I vowed to do my very very best for the next proj.And i promise poh=)- hes the cutest lecturer=))I not gonna enter this industry but i cares a lot about my results and studes-jia you lyn!Its pretty hard-for i have to use 5 days to finish what i have to do in 1 mths.Thus,been sleeping at 5am daily.Though i could not get to present verbally-which is pretty disappointing for mi.Cause i love my project and im proud of it!But nvm.I shall work hard for my model and drawings=)I reali went to take 3 days mc so i hope they would at least let mi show my stuff=) please!I just wannna let them c my hard work.


Im working at tan tock seng on wed.Im keeping my fingers crossed.Cause i give the wrong color of foundation to customers and some problem with stock-taking.I hope everything goes well.For jennifer from jp goin to call catherine-our manager..haix..but shes pretty good though.So i goin school on thur.I hope they let mi present in the morn-for i nid to rush to work at 10 then take a taxi back to sp for wilbur concert with my dearie!I aint goin to miss it.

Although theres so many obstacles and troubles i had to handle now-but yet i still feel positive.I guess kathy optimism is rubbing off mi.I will faced and handle each obstacles on my own=)

Meeting up with fu-my online fren 2molol.Hes goin to pei mi to polyclinic and for breakfast too..haha..hes a good guy.Breakfast-I dunno how long i haven had it.Once there will be someone hu would purposely wake mi out for breakfast.Well..hes gone.

Good luck jaslyn!Everything will turn out fine de=)

ps:Im addicted to this word *Ice-cream*-Tiramisu,yam,COC CHIP..aww..i just love everything..Buy mi one of this cooling heavenly stuff anyone will ya=PPmuackx**

-our love story ;

This is me.Before everything started.I like being quiet.I like hanging out with some true friends.I like being that shuting with those silly thoughts and jokes.I like to smile to the whole world and trust everyone.I like being shy around strangers.I like my phobia of singing in front of crowds.I like to be happy.I like to be ignorant of eveything round me.I like to believe that nobody is cheating or bullying me.I like to accept the help from others.I like to be that dumb creature everyone claim me to be.I like to be stupid and resist learning things.I like making a fool of myself to gain a smile from others.I like being guilty when i make a mistake.I like to be direct and true to myself.I like to think the world is simple and rid of evil.I like to share all my secrets and sadness with everyone.I like it when people believe me.All i want is simplicity and everyone of you all to accept me for who i am.This is shuting.

-our love story ;

Do u hate mi?I felt a certain distance btw us..even distant from friends..and i tot we are supposed to be friends..

Its the exam period now..Thus pretty busy these few days chionging my proj..dint go to dance prac..John joining mi=)my final still gt a long way to go...but ive did all the other stuff le..left with panel...hmm...well.still keeping my fingers crossed bout my job...i hope they cont to use mi as i will be starting job on wed at tan tock seng hospital.Doing 3 jobs-sales executive,promoter,tuition.Kel pretty angry..he wants mi to concentrate on my studies.As wad py says-he would still want her in his life.Although he's on the search for success.That was how i feel too.

The malay guy whom i noe from sec2 sorta admit he still miss mi..he did chase mi once.And was even force to do a proposal act in front of eveyone.I sorta shun him after he admitted.Hmm...ytd we had a talk after how many yrs and hes pretty sweet.Yup..he wanted to meet up.I guess theres no harm.But he ask whethe we could hug when we meet.Hah..no way...We are friends=)Anyway,after i become single.I let myself make more friends with guys.I sorta wun care as much as last time.

But i know for sure i just want to be independent.For now,i dont want care much bout relationship.Ive enuff of the guys- i onli nid 3 in my entire life=)

Gt one pretty good online fren come find mi at jp from katong..lol..and he treat mi to eat.Yup..constantly giving mi encouragement..thankx=)He say he will treat mi if i pass my exams=) im waiting den..lol

I wouldnt change because of you.Im being myself.I would not change my attitude towards you too.But i guess u don think this way.I just want to treat you like how i treat john my best fren like that..but yet i knew its strange.What wrong have i done?

Anyway kathy and yuzhen is so darn farni.They love each other so much yet can bite each other head off the next moment.Simplyyyyyy cute..And dearie stop calling mi bb...it makes my hair stands...Im willing to do anything for you my dearir.cause you are the most wonderful being on earth.she never go to school for a week...yet she turn up for my presentation and help mi all night long.Aint she sweet???some ppl reali dunno how to treasure her,hah!Dont worry my dear...for you..i will make appt asap.I love you=))

-our love story ;

I just realise im so far behind in my project..and make a mistake in my work..argh...so stress can....Stay strong shuting!

-our love story ;

Py and i make a pact to succeed in life-by learning lots of things.He say he might take up danicing too..lol.Anyway i will be working in jp for the nxt 3 days..do drop by anyone to say hi=)Today pon school want training-learn all about vichy.The product that i wll be promoting.The lady who did our training is pretty friendly.But in the end,all the chemicals topic make mi reali reali sleepy.Luckily there was a break and a hot choc before we continue the training.I was soooo happy when i was posted to jurong point and my time slot was 2-8.Thus i need not pon school(I would feel guilty)and yah.Jurong point.But whats the point.In the past i would have ask him to drop by.But now.hah.Anyway boon lay is sooo near my school can.I swear
to work hard on dis job.Cause the place,time slot and pay is sooo to my liking.I gonna earn more commission too.Wee~I gonna take all the pay and spend it on one whole day of shopping-Im addicted to shopping alone.But of couse leaving out some to buy jas and ying birthday gift.Oh yeah..after tuition and after my play session with my kid.I went cycling and hollering down the slope with my kid..lol..darn fun.Sometimes kids just love to do crazy stuff.And i went along with him.*grins.Hmm..after tuition i went je alone to buy stuff for my job-shorts and heels and a shirt!Looks pretty gangsterish my shirt but i simply love it!Aww..im all settled for my job.Anyway,i did all my shopping and was asked by a guy for survey thingy.I did it and he say bout wad bank acc and stuff.I said i interested i would come back to him and he start saying bout wad fate thingy?so he ask mi to put down my no.And yeah i put.He said he will call.Maybes he interested in network marketing=)John says he gonna quit school and look for job...hmm...i was thinking if he gonna donate some money to the poor kid here when he was rich next time=P My sis ask bout mi and john..lol.I swear to her and luff.We are forever best friends.

-our love story ;

I realise relationship has stop me from far too many chances and dreams.I just wish to enjoy my single life and fufil all my goals.I believe my next relationship will be one im willing to settle down for years.Meanwhile i gonna make full use of the time to do things i always yearn to do.I hope relationship wun come knocking on my door again now.Do wait for me=))

-our love story ;

Qn:What have i done in my life?
Ans:I practically know and did nothing at all.My life consists of only 2 words-love & study.

Oh yeah.So this is the shuting everyone knows.Im so utterly sad and disappointed in myself.Today,3people guess and none of them actually say i was from singapore.Their guess?-Taiwan,china and malaysia.Perhaps it was the accent of my voice or my looks.But to me,its because i seriously know nothing about singapore at all.Fancy asking a teenager how to travel to boon lay.Didnt even know when is national day.And not knowing how to walk around in town.Hah.

Aww...no way am i going to carry on like that.I gonna say goodbye to that weak girl who knows nothing in life.I,shuting aka jaslyn,has 2 goals to achieve in life now by her 18 bithday.Shes gonna be a free-style hip hop dancer and have a career.I aim to be able to enter nyp dance club through next year audition.Wei keat tempted me there and he gonna be my personal coach=)*grins.And i gonna concentrate on my 3 career-nti,teaching tuition and working part-time.

My mama told me-U are doing so many stuff,what about your studies?..well..not to worry though.I gonna become successful and able to balance my stuff well.All as in-Studies,career,toning up and my passion!I know ive always been those who says and never do.But now im more realistic as ive did at least something to move towards my goals.

Most importantly i want to have a serving spirit as what i learn from john and extend my service to others around me.He once say-we all are but only a speck of dust in space.We ourselves are actually nothing but a mere being.

Well.Today went running in ntu with john and ken.Its my first attempt to run after like how many months.Geex..naturally i was running with all my might but after a few slopes and lanes,i slowed down and eventually ended up walking and singing.It was kind of them to wait up for me at the next bus stop.Its rewarding enough for me le=)Well...its kinda strange actually.I treated him as really a friend le but his attitude is rather different.I feel abit non-existent?Seriously i don wanna lose a fren.Besides whatever that happens is all in the past le.I treated my first and second one as really fren also.But one treated mi as stranger.The other chided mi with no harm of course.But this time i feel non-existent.Strange guys.Am i poison?We could still be friends isnt it?Why cant they treat mi the same?

Oh yeah.Make several new dancing friends in dance class today.We already make a date to have a fun sleepover at one of the guy house..ooo..it gonna be fun.They already treated mi as part of their group.Cool.All of my dancemates are simply too cool.Went to play pool after dance prac but yup.I lost 2 rounds out of 2..grr.

In the noon i went to mrs chua house for youth grp meeting.They are very friendly too and mrs chua even prayed for me.The talk is about the purpose of life.ok.I have to admit.It was pretty holy.Afterwhich i had hands on their guitar.Its so fun can.I LOVE IT.John is willing to teach mi=)

Kelvin koh!U know me best la.I REALLY GAIN 4 kg!Argh.Die die wun believe at first til i saw tad weighing machine in front of mi.Shuting is on a diet! woo~

And i wanna go hong kong=) and malaysia!

-our love story ;

Ok...I know im not supposed to call kel out le.But my model is simply too big.Anyway he carry my model to je for me from school.Along the way,he kept saying me bad and stuff.Some of it affected me but i just turn away and try not to hear.When we reach je,there is a small food bazar dere selling my favourite kou rou bao.(buns)But i could not decide on which bun to buy so he bought all 3 with his remaining 5 buck.And i ate two.Goodness he say ive become fat!Ok...I GONNA SERiOUSLY GO ON A DIET.Hes the second one to tell mi im fat.Hui shi is da first one..Hmm...i gonna go running with john dis sat morn.Morning and Run.Simply sounds strange on me.He pei mi while we waited for john to come.He did his hw while i eat happily away.Occasionally he stop and look at me hard.Is there a flicker of sadness somewhere in his eyes?I dont know and i dare not ask.But i tried to keep the atmosphere light.Once he bent down and become very quiet.I feel really guilty at that point of time yet i could do nothing to help.Hes going to hong kong with his co mates and john somewhere in december i think.Anyway he offer to pay 300 buck for me to go.Im tempted to go.But i would feel out of place dere.Im considering.Although he scold mi and say a lot of bad things but i know he still cares.He never stop caring for me.

-our love story ;

Ok...Py and kathy both dont believe i can stay single for at least a month.I shall prove it to them.well...i learn a thing from kathy.She say we should flirt for life is Beautiful and guys would only treasure us more.But i seriously dont like flirting after my secondary school life.But anyway its a nice suggestion=)I should learn from kathy.She took only a few hrs to get over from winston and lead her life happily..She has a logic mindset and simply too strong.I salute her for this.A pity i follow feelings.But i get over after 2 weeks=).Im partially strong.Geex.Well..im suppose to be doin my project now but tad darn ipod is making mi boil up.Feel like chatting on the fone just now but noone to find.Luckily py chatted with mi on msn as he doin proj so cannot chat on fone.Geex...thanks=)...Anyway whoever wants to go swimming,jogging,swimming and cycling.Please join me.Im leading this routine life with john and finding some keen company too.I gonna tone up my bod.

-our love story ;

Woo~went art friend with hui yu before meeting john.Though did not do much hw after we arrive.But his friends is pretty farni.Both hao teng and fred.Perhaps going to play pool 2molol with them at night.Yup.And john is coming to sp 2molol to study with mi while i do my model.*Grins.Gonna show him some nice food round.Hmm...maybe thur gonna went play bball with yong shen.Shall see some exciting match btw both of them.I want sleep! but got so many projects to do.Sianx.

-our love story ;

Aww..i had such a nice snooze ytd.I woke up thinking it was sunday.But no.I had to go to school..Luckily there was no lesson 2dae.Sounds great ar..Totally no stress at all.Currently im sitting in studio,resting for awhile before i went off to meet john to study.I finally started on my detail model which was supposed to be pass up 2 weeks back.Everyone was starting on the final model le.Ok.I know im doing the wrong thing at the wrong time.But i want to settle all my debts first beforei continue.I shall start on my final model 2molol.Sp had a bazzar again.It was a small event.I heard from kathy and after we finish our lunch.We went off to take a look.Aww,we saw a shirt that was darn nice.And cheap too.Thus,mi and dearie is bent on getting the same shirt.Sounds corny?Nahx...its called bonding=P Woot.Under the pretence of having a presentation,i gonna use the money i gotten from mum to buy a nice and unique heels.Gosh.I badly wanted my 6111 and a new line.Im feeeling useful.This whole week ive plan with john darling.We each had the same little notebook-red and blue.And every week we gonna do planning from studies to play.We are even saving up together to play pool or catch a movie.Life ain't gonna be boring anymore.Swimming,play pool,running,basketball...cant wait at all.And i no longer feel emotionally unstable anymore.Geex.Thanks john.

-our love story ;

Two days have passed since i blogged.Two days.Short yet memorable.Simple but significant.This is specially for you:Dumb dumb..if u are reading this.You will know who you are.

29/7/06:
On this day.First time.I really appreciate playing with my kid.I actually enjoy his presence.We were cycling in the park.It was crisp morning with not much passerbys.I took in a deep breath of nature and the silence of the surroundings have a rather calming effect.It has been 2 weeks since i felt such calmness in my heart.It was then i saw two rabbits-pure white and light pink eyes.One hopped around as free as can be.Yet the other is stranded in just one part of the grass patch.It was partially paralysed and unable to move its legs.I found out from her owner that she was like this from birth.I ask my student this qn:Is this rabbit independant or dependant?True.She need to depend on her owner but yet its admirable that she could still carry on living well.If the rabbit could be independant.why cant i?

I confess during this 2 weeks.Ive been trying to act very strong.I did means and ways to keep myself preoccupied.Psycho-ing myself with all sorts of thought.Stuck in the crossroad of giving up or perservering on.You know full well i still like you.And i did get the hint of you just wanting to becoming normal friends.I guess im slowly being erased from your life.Just like a click of the delete button.If you thought i could really just forget everything.You are wrong.I stay on strong for 2 weeks.Trying to ignore the heart-throbbing pain.Yet it could not help mi.I realised im too tired of acting strong.I constantly pushed our memories away from my head for fear of being sad all over again.But i know it did not help.Not at all.If u still remember.we keep doing unconstructive stuff last time and u never stopped me from going to your school and just doing nothing.But now.u claimed it as unconstructive.I would tell you why.The most unconstructive thing ive done for you is to wait 2 hrs under the void deck.Its just too hurting.

I did the most stupid thing in the end.First time in my life.I feel the strong urge to be alone.I let go of trying to be strong.I finally let myself fall.To be weak.True to my own feelings.All by myself,I went to Jurong point.If u still remember.The place we always go last time.I went to back all shops we went before.I recalled everything we did before and everything you once said.I combed the whole place just to get back that familiar feeling.I let all memories flow.From day one til now.All along yes.Superwoman again.You know.there are so many questions i want to ask but never dare to ask.There are promises i guess that could not be kept.I went shopping alone.I bought clothes,necklaces,ring..with my one month salary.And you are right for one thing.Shopping alone feel good afterall.I just walk and walk.Ignoring the virations of my hp.I need to be alone.To think.To feel.You just leave just like that.No remaning words.Nothing at all.What did you expect me to do?I certainly hope i have the power to guess what your thoughts are.But yet i did not have.After reading this,you might be thinking how stupid or frail im.Yes.Even im laughng at myself.I wonder did you really care about all those stupid things ive done.I even enter those shops that have no customers.something i would not do in the past.The last shop i went to was a shoe shop and it was then *Superwoman* blast out from the radio.I Stayed in the shop til the song finished.To me,it was a sign.

Is it a miracle?John say he just feel like contacting mi at that point of time.I pick up his call as i could not ignore the costant vibrations anymore.I was really consoled at that point of time.Though im still shopping alone.But i guess i would notmind someone to accompany me.I went to jurong east to meet him.Halfway dere,a charity show was going on.I just walk in and sit on the matress seat they put out for us.I sat alone again and listen intently to the whole programe.I felt a certain belonging towards this particular charity show.This i could not explain why.

At the end of the day,John make me really understood and know what i really wanted.Hes my pillar for now.With him round,i realise there are more important thing in life then my own life.I should not care too much about just my own life.I want to do more meaningful things.And im left with only 6 mths before i turn 18.Ive no more time to lose on bgr.I dare say i once put love as my first piority.But this piority shall no longer exist.

-our love story ;

Its 4.30 midnight.Yet im still awake and thinking.Just a moment ago,i was talking to kel.What he say was true:u dont want things to change..u prefer to see old faces within your sight..u dont want to try to adapt to the new environment..u wan to keep everything the same like the past but not those unhappy memories..Yes.That was how i feel.I was even tempted to go back to those places of the past 2molol.Yet i could not.For i promise and had to do many things 2molol.I just want to be myself.Tired of changing.Im sorry.This is what the night did to me.

-our love story ;

When i finally put myself in his shoes and trust him and believe he do like mi,i feel that i lead my life more easily and happily.I wan to be understanding.Though i still miss the days he would call mi up to chat.Esp during this 2 mth of u-noe-wad festival.But i guess hes really busy with studies.Im glad that hes serious in his studies and his upcoming exams and everything.Thus,i would not go bother him.He and john are both clever people.I knew when they put in a little effort,they will score.I shall not bother them when they are studying..though i reali miss them both!He goin to pei mi 2molol to taka...wee~ hmmm..i drop dancing le..maybe if he free i will go down to nyp to eat.If he want tad is.oo...i gonna go to all poly to eat..just recently went to sim and np.sim have those mache restaurant thingy...so fun la.But np sushi is not nice to eat at all..opps.Lesson learnt:Humans learnt to treasure only after they lose the thing.

-our love story ;

Song:Gua mu xiang kan(gary)

S=Sensitive
H=Hyperactive
U=Urgent
T=Think too much
I=Interesting
N=Negative
G=Give up easily

This is my name and my character.I seriously feel i nid to reflect myself.Im too sensitive towards many stuff like love and tend to think too much.Also,Im always capable of making the most simplest thing become very complex.I always
claimed that humans are the most complex people and how i wish to escape from the world.In fact,i was actually the one that are having complex
thoughts.I allow my emotions to take over me and imagine the worst of everything.This negative thinking showed me a different light of everything.I had the wrong perception of everything going round me.Whenever i meet with obstacles or troubles,all i feel like was giving up or escaping.I thought i could protect myself this way.I guess i was wrong.When u give up on yourself,you are giving up on your happiness.Success did not come just by one day.You have to slowly accumulate it day by day.

I guess i was like this because i got really low self-confidence of myself.I thought i was an unlucky child.I never believe i would succeed in life.Because-i never thought i was as pretty,lucky,rich,well-like,had a good character as compared to many many people.Yes.I do envy them.But ken told mi once-what are there to be envy of.True.I could get them too if i put in my best effort.

Now as i reflect upon myself.I realise i failed to trust him is all because i failed to trust myself.I never thought he would like mi cause i never like myself in the first place.I should appreciate and like myself better lest how could u make others like you=)The other thing is i thought too much.I could actually continue to like him but why should i choose to give up?He never say he will give up but could be friends first.So why should i give up?Thus,i would continue to like him and be friends.I should have more confidence in us and him=)

My first step to changing a whole new me-1st:calling up the modelling agency(I must have confidence in myself).2nd:I just have a new job with loreal as a cosmetics promoter.(I would earn money and at the same time being pretty).3rd-Aim for an A in my studies(Im confident lady luck would award me if i work hard enough).4th-Earn enough money to go back to hiphop dancing(I must never give up on dancing).5th-have trust in him and us=)

Py and jas been scouted to be miss and mr singapore poly!jas din go for the audition but py did!woot..im confident he will win!!i will support u all the way de.A pity the audition is over,i would like to try their modelling..hmm..fAT hope la.hahh.But it will be a fun experienece.argh.

Kathy showed me the true meaning of life.She taught me many many things and ive yet to realy thankx her.Im lucky.Cause i had you with mi dearie=)

-our love story ;

Today's lesson:We are swayed by emotions because we allowed emotions to sway us.We can actually choose to be happy instead of sad.It all lies in our mindset.I know its easier said then done but at least this is the first step to curbing your own emotions.Ive matured.hah.

I swore i will study reali hard!I gonna put my best effort in tad upcoming powerpoint.I gonna do food!ooo..My fav topic!I swore i will get better then 57 marks.I do care bout my studies ok..
I believe miss au would be so shock!!

kathy couldnt be more true.She sae i choose to giv up on us.Its my decison isnt it?And we haven started so how do we end.Cool.So be frenx bahx..
Shuting's quote:Fate bought two together.We should not easily give up on this fate.
Thus,im thinking whether i shld believe in my own faith?I Would but i nid the affirmation of the other party first.

I just sms john darling to study hard.He gonna hv to stop mapling.Ive a date with him to sneak into his school cafe and have a nice cup of hot chocolate..yummy!I miss going out with him.But holidays coming soon le..woot!

-our love story ;

Aww...i just wanna tell all my frenx here how i treasure alll of You.First of all,my dear kathy aka butch,dearie and sweetie.Ive realised one dae without you in studio.I will be so dead bored and life at school would be so meaningless.My day brighten up just with you around=)sounds mushy?oh yah.Im beggining to think we 2 are a bunch of wierdos who would sleep away during a formal talk and wake up onli to talk bout boobs and stupid stuff.

Im terribly sorry for a bit of neglection towards my strangely close but yet not so close fren-py.He did complain i was a bit zhong she qing you last time..hmm...don wry..guy...i swear i will call ya more often to talk bout politics..wahahx..and thx again for never leaving mi even when i was down=)


lastly.yong ming.Its strange why i choose to confide in him when i was in loss tad time.He never reali seem to care bout mi yet i did felt some concern from him as a fren bahx..or maybe wad kathy sae is true??ming ge likes mi..wahahax...IMpossible.Aww...but u never noe.Theres nothing impossible in this world.

Oh yeah kathy.im thinking of becoming les with you*winks*accept mi bahx sexy babe..lol

2molol i goin np with kathy to find yuzhen darling.Tad darn kathy tempted mi dere with all tad sushi talk..Aww..and u noe wad effect food did on mi.

I certainly want to slap myself for the letdown of pride last time.Now shuting will go back to her prideful being-shes a stubborn creature.

-our love story ;

-our love story ;

-our love story ;

Song:wo hen xiang ai ta (twins)

This song somehow describe why i choose to make this decision.
We finally meet up today.No quarrel.No cold wars.Yet somehow strangers.We did not talk much.But all along i was supressing my feelings.Before i met him,i had a long talk with mr edwin and yu zhen.Ive make my decision.And that is to make today our last happy day.I went there without haboring any thoughts that we would go back to last time.I just want us to spent our last day happily.I told him to meet me at the ice-skating palace.I pass him my last present there-ferro rocher(his fav choc).Since we started in that place,we shall end it there.I bought his fav beard candy too.I remember he like to eat that too.Afterwhich we went to watch-recycle.We still joke round and everything like nothing happen.I was still pondering whether i should give him the letter i wrote last night when everything seem to be fine.In the end,i still give.No matter what,i dont want our stuff to continue bother us and stopping me from a lot of stuff.Now,i feel so much relax.I feel blessed.We once were happy.We had our memories.We had our last happy day.We knew we love each other.And this is how our story ended happily. =)

I promise to divert all my attention to nti with my dearest kathy and not forgetting studies.i wanna thankx yongming too...for being my listening ear all this while.i finally bought him the cream puff he awaits long for but he din thx mi!!hmph!

-our love story ;

Walking from my home to school,the song* superwoman* keep replaying in my ipod.I learnt a lot i realise.I learnt to treasure someone before they totally leave you out of his life.If given another chance,i will not listen to what my surroundings told mi but listen to the little voice in my heart.If only i had the second chance.I realise ive tried so hard to hold on that makes him so stress up now.After today,i will willingly leave your life and embrace you as a friend.Ive thought through.If you are willingly to give mi a second chance,i would not make the same mistakes again.However if u are not,i will silently disappear from your life taking our memories with us.I guess im pretty strong now after reading a book called*who moved my cheese*.It says:"Learnt to observe the little changes in your life.When a change happens,do not keep pondering over why it happens.We should move on and adapt to the changes."Thus,im a happy girl now who knows how to take things in my stride.Im now in a cross-road,pondering over which way to go.Whatever the outcome is,i promise i would still stay happy and happy!!Though im still very regretful that things turn out like this becuase of my stupid actions.I was once given a very wonderful and pretty droplet of water but instead of handling it with care and treasuring it.I carelessly let it slip away from my hands.As the saying goes,"we could not control what happens to us but we could control how we react to what happens.From this,i decided i got 2 options.*Let go*or *change for him*.I dont want him to feel stress up over me bothering him so i would let go.The other one is to change for him.I meant it and i would do it.But now i have to talk to him.I hope he will just stop and listen to me.The girl had learnt her lesson ans shes waiting for the boy.

-our love story ;

Once there is a girl called jan and she love dumb.She reali did.But she could not believe it when he say he love her too.Perhaps this is the thing called trust that make them ended up in a very sorry situation today.He say she don trust him.However she trusted him from her own feelings and heart.She meant it.Now,she tried desperately to hold on to the relationship they once shared.However,she knew the more she tried to hold on to the further it is slipping away from her hands.Perhaps he had reali gave up on her.He wouldnt believe it anymore that she reali had forgetten her ex.She had changed this.All she wan is to go back to the past but she knows its so impossible now.No longer did she want to bother him,after tomorrow.She will make a decision.She would rather let go then make him hate her.She ask him for the last time"Do u still like me?"And he said yes.I guess this is enough for her.He had stop calling her and everything.I guess the reality is simple.She thought she could be his SUPERWOMAN.But i guess its not her.And this is how the story ends.

-our love story ;

My moodswing ended le!i feel positive and happy again..geex...and im still hopinng for the best...sorry dumb..for suddenly become so sadded..hah.

-our love story ;

John teo! u finally become 17 yrs old le.hah.waiting for u like ages le.I so miss him la..long time nvr crap with him le.todae went kbox for his birthday.Intended to buy a cello cake for him de..but no fate..hmm...so i settle down with a fruit cake from jp..after tad went to je to put in the fridge of kbox.we were sinigng halfway when i ask them to present the cake..woot..he look reali suprise!!lol..i hope he like my suprise cause this is the first cake i bought for my fren..hmm..anyway jf come too..we din talk much.but i don feel as strange as last time.though there is still an air of animoisity btw us.awww..we could still be fren de..anyway shuxia is reali a great fren...she came to celebrate birthdae with john and even go to arcade to play games...so fun la! we wasted 5 buck on catching the pooh from tad machine thingy..darn!but we had fun.

I still like him a lot.This morning he sound so cold and i felt like i was wasting his time.hah.He told mi he will tell mi something.I guess tadx the end?Im a strong girl ..i hope im..

-our love story ;

Dearie Kathy told mi this:"I feel that if you know how balance work, family, personal life and love, only then are you qualified to be called successful. Not many people realize this. Many people give "I'm busy" as an excuse to hide away from reality. How busy is busy, though? Do you spend every single minute of your time doing constructive things, earning money? If you spend one minute idling, you are not busy. You are NOT qualified to be called busy.(Adapted from her blog)I realised what she say is so true and from my own viewpoint the logic is even more simple.If a particular someone is really that important in your life or you do love her.You would have wanted to see her even for 5 min.1 min.or even just 1 second.I guess all along from what i see and heard,im not sure about the feelings u had for me.True.You never really did said u like or love mi.Im never as pretty or cute as all your sally or wally.When i was sick,where are you?All i need was an sms of concern or just a dollar of herbal tea perhaps.But what did i get from you?Just a few hours ago,i cried for you.I finally broke down after a few nights of guessing game.You told me you would call me and we had yet to discuss about the cake.I waited and waited.Only to found out u were sleeping when i called.At first i was angry at you for being irreponsible.2molol is his bithday.It was an important matter.You promised to call too.In the end,i thought long and hard.Maybe im just simply too insignificant in your life.There are actually many things u could do for me if im realy tad important to you.But all you say was:"no money.no time".I guess its just one word actually:"no love".


Im letting go.

-our love story ;

Ok..anything is more impt then mi perhaps..or perhaps u don wanna c mi...sometimes i wonder r u tad busy...if u reali feel like meeting up..dere r bound to be time.even just 5 min is called time.aww..i feel so insignificant.I need someone to pei mi now..

-our love story ;

i need u kathy..badly and seriously.love and friendship.there r so many things and questions i would like to know but dare not ask.feeling so vexed..felt like goin to company now.my only console and comfort bahx.haix!!

-our love story ;

-our love story ;

-our love story ;

Forever.I guess im a gal tad either i put in my best or i totalli give up at all.I will only put in my 100% effort in a relationship if i forsee a future.Its not tad im not scared of losing you.I do worry in the process of being friends you will stop liking me.Or we might ended up not being anything at all.There are much things for us to learn and change.As ive always say.Before i begin to change,u make mi fall for you.hah.Bad la u..lol.Actually this could be counted as a test.You say i dont trust you.maybe after this period of time i will be able to 100% trust you.I do know tad dere is a silent statment btw us tad we wun last long.I hope one dae we could even last without even thinking we will leave one day.I have to change to stop brooding over the past.Whereas u hv to learn to welcome another person into ya once single life.last of all,i just want to tell you that i will still care for you.I love you.


kathy sae ive matured for not letting my heart rules over rational thinking.And ive become positive too!well...2dae i was freaking sick.Coughing and feeling hot all over my poor body.To top it off,Mr sun is very hardworking todae.Shining brightly at my feverish body while carrying my project.How i wish at tad point of time.My hero would appear.nahx.just my wishful thinking.Anyway i went home to sleep for like how many hrs.Ended up having a terrible headache.

And goodness ken went m.i.a. when he finally call.i feel a bit stranger from him.Perhaps its because we havent met for 6 days le or ytd we din talk.yup.i miss you.I wonder did u feel the same.hah.

2dae kathy fren fish* came to sp and tell mi bout her story..i learn a lot of thing from her.shes seriously a very brave girl.I must be brave too.NO more sadness over little things!

-our love story ;

As i was travelling home just now.I reali wish to talk to someone.To have someone by my side.Listening and lending a shoulder for mi to cry on maybe.But dear at home le.Tot of asking py.But i dismiss the thought in the end.Inappropriate bahx.So i went home alone.My mind keep playing the same words over and over again.hmm...could i get a bit more response from him.or a bit more care and concern?hah.im tired.

-our love story ;

A fallen agel slumped on the floor.Weeping.Crying.Sobbing her heart out.And all she want was simplicity.She could not appreciate herself lest learn to appreciate others round her.Who to trust?who to listen?she did not know.Follow her heart or follow the cruel reality.The so called logic.A white piece of paper.Pure and clean.Thats what all of them claim her to be.Life is too comlicated.Too complex for her to handle.If only given a chance.She would like to return to the ocean with a flick of her tail.Back to the ocean.To where she belong.The calmness and the tranquilty.All this is what she desperately yearned for.




KATHY LEONG!I love you to bits.Thanks for talking to mi and making mi feel so much better.Muackxx!!I would change the social manners stuff.

-our love story ;

Artist: A1
Song: Everytime Lyrics


Mark: lately i'm not who i used to be
Someone's come and taken me
Where i don't wanna go
If i knew exactly what i have to do
In order to be there for you
When you were feeling low

Ben: and all the things we ever wanted
Were once yours and mine
Now, i know we can revive it
All the love we left

Paul: everytime i kiss i feel your lips and
Everytime i cry i see your smile and
Everytime i close my eyes i realise that
Everytime i hold your hand in mine
The sweetest thing my heart could ever find
And i have never felt this way
Since the day i gave your love away

Christian: save me, i've fallen from my destiny
You and i were meant to be
I've thrown it all away
Now you're gone
It's time for me to carry on
But baby i just can't go on
Without you by my side

Ben: and all the things we ever wanted
Were once yours and mine
Now, i know we can revive it
All the love we left

Paul: everytime i kiss i feel your lips and
Everytime i cry i see your smile and
Everytime i close my eyes i realise that
Everytime i hold your hand in mine
The sweetest thing my heart could ever find
And i have never felt this way
Since the day i gave your love away

Ben: we can survive it
All the pain we feel inside
You relied on me and now i've let you down
Now, i promise you forever
I will be the best i can
Now, i know we can revive it
All the love we left

Paul: everytime i kiss i feel your lips and
Everytime i cry i see your smile and
Everytime i close my eyes i realise that
Everytime i hold your hand in mine
The sweetest thing my heart could ever find
And i have never felt this way
Since i gave your love away

Everytime i kiss i feel your lips and
Everytime i cry i see your smile and
Everytime i close my eyes i realise that
Everytime i hold your hand in mine
The sweetest thing my heart could ever find
And i have never felt this way
Since the day i gave your love away

-our love story ;

Artist: Christina Aguilera
Song: Reflection Lyrics


Look at me
You may think you see
Who I really am
But you’ll never know me
Every day, is as if I play apart
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I can not fool
My heart
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
I am now
In a world where I have to
Hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world
What’s inside my heart
And be loved for who I am
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection
Someone I don’t know?
Must I pretend that i’m
Someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
There’s a heart that must
Be free to fly
That burns with a need
To know the reason why
Why must we all conceal
What we think
How we feel
Must there be a secret me
I’m forced to hide?
I won’t pretend that i’m
Someone else
For all time
When will my reflections show
Who I am inside?
When will my reflections show
Who I am inside?

-our love story ;

-our love story ;